Plunder Cats, HO!

Lost and Found – A Butterbeard Tale


Lost and Found – A Butterbeard Tale

The major players
BB: ButterBeard (Gunslinging Dwarven Captain of the Plunder Cats and Former Noble Scion of Latveria)
LTD: LT. Dan (The First Goblin Magus and 2nd in Command of the Latverian Air Force)
PYT: Patty (Hot Human Witch and trusted advisor to the Captain)
Beek: Beek (Tengu Pirate – Future follower of Butterbeard)
LY: Lord Yzerman (Half Orc Oddity – Future Cohort of Butterbeard)

Plunder Cats, Followers, and Groupees

Special Guest Stars:
Count Dooku III and Duke of Earl V

Act 1 – Prior to the Regatta in the Captain’s Quarters.
**Butterbeard crumples the formal document.

BB “Taxes!!!!! Pirates don’t pay taxes??!!”
“That violates at least 7 laws of the code…”

LTD “Yep we figured you’d say that.”
PYT “So we resigned your status as Navy Commander.”

BB “What??!!!”

PYT “And they withheld your stipend.”

BB “What??!!!
“grumble…….so much for retirement…

Sometime later -——

BB inner dialogue before sleep settles….

BB So now what do I do?
Maybe I’ll ask Besmara for guidance.
yeah like that’ll happen ~~

The next morning -——-

His trusted Lt. hands the Captain his standard 5 lb bacon breakfast sandwich

LTD: Ummm boss… ummm…
I think you may need a new alias….

The goblin pulls a mirror in front of the Captain.

BB What!!!
BB: Why is my hair black
First I lose my long lost birthright title,
then all my free spending money,
and now my luxurious golden locks and beard

BB: Give me that hat of disguise…
our crew cannot see me without trademark flowing hair.

PYT “Ummmm…. Sure sir.. whatever u say…”
LTD “Not helping”

BB I need a drink!!!.

The nervous goblin brings over a tankard of pink lemonade and a straw.

BB What!!!
No ice cubes!!

LTD Sorry sir that was in the last shipment which is still in Port Peril and confiscated by me.

BB What??!!!.

~~ Act 2 – The new path begins -———
**Somewhere onboard the Plunder Cats Flagship during the evening festivities

BB “Hmmm… r u sure this is gonna work??”
LTD ”Just get angry and it’ll help…”
LTD “Ok now hit me…”
“swooooooosh …..thuwmp”
PYT “Need another volunteer!!!”

The next day -—————————

Rocky music.(Mid life crisis identify searching).
LTD “Cmon Captain…. 1 more push up and we’ll call it a day…”
BB “ehhhhhhhhhhhhh”
PYT “he’s only done 2”
LTD “Not helping Patty”

Another day -————————

Rocky music
LTD ”U got it captain…1 more”
BB “ehhhhhhhhhhhhh”
PYT “Ok well he’s at least up to 6 now
LTD “Not helping”

And a day sometime after that -

Rocky music
BB “ehhhhhhhhhhhhh”
PYT “Just give him the Giants belt already so he can at least pretend to be in shape”
LTD “Not helping”

The last day -—————

Rocky music
BB "Give me the damn belt”

The day after that -—-

The dedicated group of followers assisting their beloved Captain in his time of mid-life crisis gathers around their role model in celebrating his grand total weight loss of 2lbs.

Group “Here is our itemized list of training costs”
BB “What!!!??”
Group “And we want an Amusement park with a waterslide”
BB "What!!!??
Group “With no height restrictions”
* Interlude ***_

Somewhere off the shore of Island of empty eyes, a pair of odd sojourners in a battered rowboat inch closer to the rocky shoreline with the fabled Plunder Cats vessel a ways off to the port side.

LY “hurlllghggpphphggp”
Beek “I still don’t understand why u want to be a pirate when u get seasick”
LY “I like the scenery and the ladies love a good dresser”
LY “hurlllghggpphphggp”
Beek “Why again are we going toward shore and not the ship?”
LY “Lady Bess gave me a sign to follow”
“And I need some land under my feet.”
Beek “Hopefully better than the last sign, I’m going to miss the Duke and the Count”
LY “hurlllghggpphphggp”
Beek “At least the Count undressed before swimming and I bet the Duke gave it indigestion. Imagine to have all but us swallowed whole by the dragon turtle… I guess that was a little luck”

The Tengu glances at the twine net and bamboo pole.

Beek “Good thing we were fishing in this boat at the time”
LY “hurlllghggpphphggp”

As the craft slowly settles onto the pebbled beach the odd pair sees another odd pair looking back at them…. One skipping rocks while the other scribbling in the sand…

LY “See. It was destiny… the lady smiles on us again”

An eerie calming of the wind and a moment of stillness surrounds the fated meeting.
divine prophecy is at hand…..

CD3 “eeeeek?”
DofE5 “squawwwk?”
Beek “you must be joking….”
LY ”hurlllghggpphphggp”

* End of interlude *

~ Final Act –—————————*

The aftermath of the Beach-head-teleportation-circle-not-so-surprise-Attack~

BB “I love it when a plan comes together”

The tiny raptor familiar brings the captain his mug, folding chair and foot stool.

Toof “Toof like being tall – Toof get to smash more”
Thay “It’s ok Rapey… the bad rocks won’t hurt u anymore”
Gala “~~Iori…. Aroden… Irori … Aroden~~"
LTD “I feel kinda like…. I died…. about 5 times”

A parchment suddenly appears on the Lt.’s lap. The goblin closes his eyes for a moment and unravels the scroll. He then sighs as he formally walks over to the Captain.

LTD “Sir it has been an honor” …

He salutes causing more dust, debris and rubble to fall off his gear.

LTD “As I was an officer in the Latvarian Air Force I must return to the Empire.”
“Your new cohort has just sent word that he has arrived.”
“But before I relay his message I have a parting gift”

The Lt. presents his former Captain with an intricate woven leather & metal fan. Along with the design plans for the future Plunder Cats Amusement Park with no height restrictions.

LTD “Every strategist needs a Minkai Minata Warfan.”
BB “Thank you Lieutenant”
“Your services and advice have been thoroughly appreciated.”
LTD “Your new cohort will have a similar item as well”
BB: “I guess I can cool myself off while drinking”
LTD “Just don’t think of anything too sharp at the time”

The fan folds and then stretches to the shape of a gruesome dagger.

Toof “coooooool”
LTD “In its natural state it will also hold your pants up.”
BB: “???”

The dagger suddenly vanishes and a sturdy belt with a tankard buckle appears around the Captain’s waist.

Thay: “Hmmmm…. a little crude but not too bad for a fashion statement, the men should like it”
BB “???”
LTD “Ahem. Now back to the message…”

The Lt. unfurls the newly arrived scroll further…

LTD “Lord Yzerman regretfully informs you that he is still recovering from his journey. However in his place has sent his new trusted valet to assist you. He was thoroughly glad to find out that you are already acquainted”
BB “already acquainted….?”
LTD “…. and is sure you will get along splendidly”
“You may refer to him formally as Count Dooku III”
BB: “wha……Count who?”
LTD “Or you may call him by his informal name of….”

The teleportation circle flashes to reveal the trusted Alendra and a tiny figure dressed in flamboyant clothing complete with a miniature rapier, feathered tricorn, and wooden sidearm…

Toof “Hi Hooty Who”
Thay “Why is she laughing??”

The Druid then smiles an evil grin as he recognizes the tiny figure…
The Lt. looks up for a moment and then back to the parchment.

Gala “…Irori.. Aroden… Irori… Aroden…”
LTD “Hmmm…that must be The Count next to her…”
“oh yes…” ahem”..
“You may also call him by his informal name of”

The peculiar creature in dazzling attire turns to face its new comrades….
…and then makes an erratic mad dash toward the group…
BB “WHAT?????!!!!!!!

…and then launches towards the captains face….

LTD “Monkey”
-————— The End -———————-

Our tale ends but the Captain will try to continue…



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